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diff --git a/Zamir/1TheFirstSong.md b/Zamir/1TheFirstSong.md
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@@ -90,9 +90,9 @@ Mother gives an ultimatum, and Zamir decides to leave, and is banished. Chapter
 
 It's called music, apparently. Humanoids do it to channel their feelings. Some even use it for spellcasting! It makes sense; it feels so powerful. Could Zamir wield this power too?
 
-It's been weeks, and they haven't been caught yet. But they've been getting glares, something must be off. Zamir does feels different. A tiny piece of each performance has become a part of them. Brief sparks of emotion sprinkle Zamir's life even without music now; nowhere near the intensity felt during song, but it's something.
+It's been weeks, and they haven't been caught yet. But they've been getting glares, something must be off. Zamir does feel different. A tiny piece of each performance becomes a part of them. Brief sparks of emotion sprinkle Zamir's life even without music now; nowhere near the intensity felt during song, but it's something.
 
-Zamir knows what they're doing is wrong—at least, according to Mother. Yuan-Ti are above feelings. They make you gullible, frivolous, *weak*. But is ambition not a feeling? Isn't that what Mother wants? The more they contemplate it, the more it doesn't make sense!
+Zamir knows what they're doing is wrong—at least, according to Mother. Yuan-Ti are above feelings. They make you gullible, frivolous, *weak*. But is ambition not a feeling? Isn't that what Mother wants? They hadn't felt enough, but now they feel too much? The more they contemplate it, the more it doesn't make sense!
 
 Zamir was lost in thought as they snuck away again. They'd overheard some humanoids gossiping about a grand concert today. Hopefully heading out earlier will secure a better view.
 
@@ -110,21 +110,21 @@ Mother slowly nods, she already knew. "You seek to indulge in emotion. In weakne
 
 Mother's brow furrows. She whips back her hand and glares Zamir down for a long time. There's an undeniable fire to their gaze that she's never seen before. She's waited so long for this. But this isn't right.
 
-"This is not ambition. This is debauchery. *Disgusting.* Do not embarrass yourself. Point your ambition elsewhere." She demands, but Zamir does not budge.
+"This is not ambition. This is debauchery. *Disgusting.* Do not embarrass yourself. Point your ambition somewhere useful." She demands, but Zamir does not budge.
 
 "No. There is nowhere else to point it. I'm going." They say, and turn to leave.
 
 "You bring shame to yourself, to me, to your people. If you do this, I will not let you return. You will be banished."
 
-*That* shakes Zamir. Banished? Mother would really do that? Zamir freezes as doubt momentarily floods them. Can they even survive without her? Is Mother right? She usually is. Wouldn't it be safer to just go home and forget all this?
+*That* shakes their resolve. Banished? Mother would really do that? Zamir freezes as doubt creeps in. Can they even survive without Mother? Is she right? She usually is. Wouldn't it be safer to just go home and forget all this?
 
-Mother sees the resolve drain from Zamir's posture. Good. For once, shes happy to see Zamir's subservience creep back in. Everything would go back to normal. But those hopes are quickly dashed.
+Mother sees the tenacity drain from Zamir's posture. Good. For once, shes happy to see Zamir's subservience winning. Everything would go back to normal. But those hopes are quickly dashed.
 
 There was no going back. Zamir couldn't just ignore the emptiness now that they knew it was there. Was a life of constant denial even worth living? This is the *one thing* Zamir has ever felt passionate about—felt *anything* about really, were they going to squander it?
 
 "Okay then." Zamir says, unable to keep their voice from shaking.
 
-Mother recoils in horror. She didn't think this confrontation could be the last time she'd see her child. "Listen to reason. You won't survive out there, they hate us. You are powerless without me. We can fix you. Everything will be okay."
+Mother recoils in shock. She didn't think this confrontation could be the last time she'd see her child. "Listen to reason. You won't survive out there, they hate us. You are powerless without me. We can fix you. Everything will be okay."
 
 Something clicks in Zamir's brain as they watch Mother's final plea. They hiss in disgust. "I will wield this power instead of living in denial. Goodbye, Mother."