From 834f1e565a688d3a7198ea36bb4b52e6f2f3294d Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Sarah Duck Date: Sun, 19 Oct 2025 18:43:15 -0700 Subject: First chapter done?? Needs edits. --- Zamir/1TheFirstSong.md | 46 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++--- Zamir/BackstorySummary.md | 5 ++++- 2 files changed, 47 insertions(+), 4 deletions(-) diff --git a/Zamir/1TheFirstSong.md b/Zamir/1TheFirstSong.md index a162426..7c45038 100644 --- a/Zamir/1TheFirstSong.md +++ b/Zamir/1TheFirstSong.md @@ -77,7 +77,7 @@ But then the music stopped. "Hey, do you hear crying down there?" "...Hells! Hey kid, you alright!?" -"Help me with this grate!" +"Help me with the grate!" Zamir slithers away as fast as they can. By the time they slow, the inexplicable feelings yet again elude them. @@ -88,6 +88,46 @@ Eventually mother confronts them. Zamir speaks about having finally found their Mother gives an ultimatum, and Zamir decides to leave, and is banished. Chapter 1 finished! --> -Zamir feels different. Each time they attend a concert, a tiny piece of it becomes a part of them. It's called music, apparently. Humanoids do it to channel their feelings. Some even use it for spellcasting! It makes sense; it feels so powerful. Could Zamir weild this power too? +It's called music, apparently. Humanoids do it to channel their feelings. Some even use it for spellcasting! It makes sense; it feels so powerful. Could Zamir wield this power too? -It's been weeks, and they haven't been caught yet. But they've been getting glares. \ No newline at end of file +It's been weeks, and they haven't been caught yet. But they've been getting glares, something must be off. Zamir does feels different. A tiny piece of each performance has become a part of them. Brief sparks of emotion sprinkle Zamir's life even without music now; nowhere near the intensity felt during song, but it's something. + +Zamir knows what they're doing is wrong—at least, according to Mother. Yuan-Ti are above feelings. They make you gullible, frivolous, *weak*. But is ambition not a feeling? Isn't that what Mother wants? The more they contemplate it, the more it doesn't make sense! + +Zamir was lost in thought as they snuck away again. They'd overheard some humanoids gossiping about a grand concert today. Hopefully heading out earlier will secure a better view. + +But as Zamir exits the tunnels, Mother's voice cuts through their musings. "What do you think you're doing? Did you really think I wouldn't notice your skulking about?" She spits. + +Zamir spins around, eyes wide. What do they do? What can they say? After a tense moment, Zamir coldly responds. "I'm going to the city." + +Mother narrows her eyes. "Do not cower behind ambiguity. Spit it out." + +"I'm going to a concert. I wish to hear more music." Zamir answers. + +Mother slowly nods, she already knew. "You seek to indulge in emotion. In weakness. *Fool!*" She suddenly darts forward and readies her claws to slash at Zamir. But Zamir catches her hand, staring defiantly. + +"Mother." Zamir states. "I have found my ambition." + +Mother's brow furrows. She whips back her hand and glares Zamir down for a long time. There's an undeniable fire to their gaze that she's never seen before. She's waited so long for this. But this isn't right. + +"This is not ambition. This is debauchery. *Disgusting.* Do not embarrass yourself. Point your ambition elsewhere." She demands, but Zamir does not budge. + +"No. There is nowhere else to point it. I'm going." They say, and turn to leave. + +"You bring shame to yourself, to me, to your people. If you do this, I will not let you return. You will be banished." + +*That* shakes Zamir. Banished? Mother would really do that? Zamir freezes as doubt momentarily floods them. Can they even survive without her? Is Mother right? She usually is. Wouldn't it be safer to just go home and forget all this? + +Mother sees the resolve drain from Zamir's posture. Good. For once, shes happy to see Zamir's subservience creep back in. Everything would go back to normal. But those hopes are quickly dashed. + +There was no going back. Zamir couldn't just ignore the emptiness now that they knew it was there. Was a life of constant denial even worth living? This is the *one thing* Zamir has ever felt passionate about—felt *anything* about really, were they going to squander it? + +"Okay then." Zamir says, unable to keep their voice from shaking. + +Mother recoils in horror. She didn't think this confrontation could be the last time she'd see her child. "Listen to reason. You won't survive out there, they hate us. You are powerless without me. We can fix you. Everything will be okay." + +Something clicks in Zamir's brain as they watch Mother's final plea. They hiss in disgust. "I will wield this power instead of living in denial. Goodbye, Mother." + +Zamir hums a magic tune, and their body dons a human disguise. They walk away without looking back. + +Mother coldly stares as her child leaves for good. She slaps herself *hard*, then descends back into the tunnels. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Zamir/BackstorySummary.md b/Zamir/BackstorySummary.md index 8c07bbf..1aedafa 100644 --- a/Zamir/BackstorySummary.md +++ b/Zamir/BackstorySummary.md @@ -26,4 +26,7 @@ Finn's friends immediately confronted Zamir, taking the snake completely off gua Zamir learns a ton during their travels, developing proficiencies for multiple instruments and dancing. -After a few years of travel, Finn found a woman he fell in love with and decided to retire. By then, Zamir had developed enough of a reputation to be able to travel on their own without being immediately killed, so they continued as a solo act. They visit Finn often, and is considered a family friend. \ No newline at end of file +After a few years of travel, Finn found a woman he fell in love with and decided to retire. By then, Zamir had developed enough of a reputation to be able to travel on their own without being immediately killed, so they continued as a solo act. They visit Finn often, and is considered a family friend. + +Notes: +- Zamir crying during a song? Potentially funny. Zamir crying without a song? NOT FUNNY. \ No newline at end of file -- cgit